Let’s not be crazy

Wife: You know what we should do?

Husband: What?

Wife: Have a no computer day. Just turn them all off.

Husband: That’s a good idea. Tomorrow?

Wife: Yeah, maybe Sundays.

Husband: …Does that include TV?

Wife: No. Let’s not be crazy here.

It’s difficult

Wife: I’m too sad to recycle

Air flow

Situation: Husband is wearing t-shirt he’s had since junior high school that is covered in holes.

Wife: *Sigh* That shirt…

Husband: What? I don’t get hot because of all the holes. Air flow!

Default food

Wife: What’s for dinner?

Husband: I don’t know, something with rice?

Wife: Is that your default answer because you’re asian?

Entertainment and a cut

Husband: She’s like, a salon dancer or something.

Wife: Salon dancer?

Husband: Yeah.

Wife: I assume you mean Saloon.

Knew it!

Setting: Husband sits holding the baby boy and the boy cat

Husband: Look! All three of your sons!

Wife: ….You mean all three of my boys?

Husband: Damnit! Yes.

Wife: Did you just admit to being a child?

They ain’t chickens

Husband: There’s sixteen goats in the tree! Why are there sixteen goats in the tree, honey?!?!

Wood chipper

Husband: I’m horny

Wife: I’m SO horny. It must be your parents

Husband: (heavy sigh)

Wife: Because it makes it naughty! Ha ha ha

Need more fiber

Wife: I think I didn’t poo yesterday

It stole my soul

Setting: Looking at pictures

Husband: I don’t remember taking that

Wife: That’s because you’re right there in the picture.